Spend time, not money

By JENNIFER COBURN
December 25, 2007 edition of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

We are overstuffing ourselves with toys, trinkets and gifts. This Gluttony of consumerism has very real consequences, especially for children.

The average American planned to spend more than $1,000 on gifts this holiday season, according to Buy Nothing Christmas, an organization that advocates simplifying the holiday. Amazingly, we buy 45% of the world’s toys, despite the fact that we represent only 4.5% of the world’s population.

The typical first-grader is able to recognize 200 brands and acquires 70 new toys a year. Meanwhile, consumer debt is growing at twice the rate of wages.

Even if a family can afford to lavish its children with gifts, doing so deprives them something far more valuable – shared time and experiences. Getting in and out of shopping centers takes time and patience that could be better spent elsewhere.

In our overscheduled lives, we are often too busy or tired to do a family art project, play a board game or bake cookies. I can’t remember ever roasting chestnuts on an open fire, but it always has sounded like a lovely idea. Most families say that what they need more of is time, not stuff.

In “Born to Buy,” one of the most comprehensive analyses of consumerism in kids, professor Juliet Schor explains that the more kids buy into the commercial culture, the more likely they are to suffer from depression, anxiety, headaches, stomach aches and boredom.

Adolescents with more materialistic values are more likely to engage in risky behavior, such as smoking, drinking and illegal drug use. They are more likely to suffer personality disorders such as narcissism, separation anxiety, paranoia and attention deficit disorder. These kids are also less likely to be doing well in school, jobs and extracurricular activities.

Not surprisingly, kids who are overindulged materially have the worst relationships with their parents. Money can’t buy love, but it sure seems to finance some serious familial discord.

I don’t advocate doing away with all holiday gift-giving. A few thoughtful gifts can add a lot to a child’s holiday, but we need to redefine giving by shopping less and doing more.

Our young kids will remember the bread-baking and the snow-man-making long after they’ve tired of this year’s must-have toy. Our teenagers will learn more from volunteer service than they will from the latest video games.

Presents are part of the holiday experience, but they have come to eclipse the greater meaning of the season. Whether it is Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or winter solstice, the season offers us all a period to reflect on what makes life beautiful and meaningful. It’s not the toys; it’s the family love.


Jennifer Coburn is the author of four novels. She wrote this for Progressive Media Project, based in Madison.